.Tuesday, May 12, 2009 ' 10:39 AM Y
blogged
today was a rather boring day , yeahs .. i had totally nothing to do , study for literature ... yahs .. i study till i got bored .. so i went online to chat chat with isabel , isketch .. blahhhhh . then i went to eat lunch .. and then back to stdying =.='' wad a boring day right ? later on had to do some blogshop stuff , so yup , then isabel afking , so i went out to watch tvee lorh .. watch tvee till now , hahas ! i forgot abt isabel >.< , or shud i say , i came back at ard 5 , but she was alr offline .. i'm so GLAD , i'm going out on thursday , after my fcking exams are overrrr YEAHHHH ! annie going out with june they all , so she not coming wif us , but nvms , i've got isabel and tiffyyyy ! yayyy ~ my mei and my laopo (: hahas , somehow , one of my blogshop customers decided not to buy the stuff we reserve for her for like ... idk , 1 month ? so angry siah , summore she is like , my very very very GOOD friend's cousin , how disappointing , sighh .. anyways , nvm abt , i really dun feel like studying lit anymore , i'm damn siannnnnn , sian of exams , my parents scolding me .. you know wad ? this is how i think of my dad .
when i do badly , and its cos the school made the paper hard , they'll say : dun gimme excuses , its because you din study hard enough , k fine , i study .. study and i do slightly better , they'll say : given ur potential , i'm sure you can do btr than this , you're just not working hard enough ... okay , lemme try to be better , i study as hard as i can , and get the best in calss for the best subject , then they'll say : how bout ur other subjects ? .. i try my best for other subjects , but i dun do as well .. they'll say : only one subject ? how bout ur maths ? ur science ? , here's my thinking , i can't posibly do well for everything can i ? i'm not a genius , nor am i a math or science geek , sorry dad , i've done my best , if i'm still not up to your standard , then maybe i shud not have been borned into this world . maybe i shud just go and die now right ? since everything i do wont please you , everything i say seems useless , u onli feel happy when jiejie is there to talk to you , she brings joy to ur life , and i bring sadness , maybe i shud just die , then u can live happily with ur wife , ur son and my beloved jiejie , wad do you think ?
sorry .. to all that reads this and think tht i'm foolish , stupid ,dumb,crazy .. or wadever , but this is how i'm currently feeling , perhaps , u might say "emo" , but to me .. i feel isolated , and unwanted.
